I'm no quitter

Lately I've been hearing a lot of things about teenage years. Ever since 6th grade I've heard people say that being a teenager means finding out who you are. And when people say "I'm not really sure who I am yet" it confuses me. I've never really thought about it, and I've never really sat down and thought about "who I am". I've always thought it was rather self-explanatory. I've never really understood why people say that they have to find out who they are. I pretty much think I "know who I am" and stuff like that. I'm Caitlin Mattson, I'm 15, I want to become a photographer, and get married in the Temple. But yesterday I went to Divisionals for my Cross Country team--even though I'm on crutches-- and cheered people on. At that race, I learned one thing more about 'who I am'. And I realized that it is extremely hard for me to quit.

Most of my immediate family knows that Cross Country this year was really hard for me. I was constantly feeling sorry for myself, and I didn't really take it too seriously. I was always just focusing on the bad parts of it. The aches and pains I guess you could say. And because I was always feeling sorry for myself, I didn't get any better. My coach had a few talks with me and told me if I really wanted to be on the team, I needed to step it up. At this point I was really discouraged. I was telling everyone I wanted to quit, and I was seriously considering it. I was even coming up with the speech I would give to Coach to tell him I didn't want to be on the team anymore. But I decided to try to make it to Laughlin. I did, and I had a really good race. I finished my season to the best of my abilities, and now it's over.

I guess the biggest reason I didn't quit is because I was too afraid to see the look on Coaches face. I was too scared to see my team members and answer the question "Why did you quit?" a million times. I guess my quick-to-be-embarrassed personality saved me. I'd be too embarrassed to see everyone and let them know that I quit because of my own self doubt. I'd be too embarrassed to think to myself that I'd given up.

Another example of this is the Track season last year. I hated it. I hated it a lot more than anything else my Freshman year. But I couldn't quit. I'd be too ashamed to see my teammates in the hallways and let them know I quit. Another thing that has saved me in both these situations is my respect for Coach Fitz. He's the Coach for both Distance Track and Cross Country. I couldn't let him know that I gave up. I guess any respect I have for anyone saves me from quitting, too.

I guess I do have a lot more to learn about myself, but for now, I'm glad that I know that I'm no quitter.